To The Man Who Loved Me First

 

To the man who loved me first, who wished nothing but the best for me and who never stopped caring for me, happiest birthday! You are the best dad in the world.    Love you lots 😗 Please live long so you see me achieve my dreams. Let’s travel more together in the future with mommy and my siblings. Plus, you have to see me get married, okay?! 😀 Stay happy!

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A Brief Creepy Encounter

As the family’s resident driver, I had to oblige to my mother’s request that I accompany my not-so-well sister to the doctor. I was quite unhappy that I’d be going alone with her so I persuaded my mother to come with us. After talking her into it,  we ended-up going all together. When my sister’s check-up was finished, I drove to the nearest drug store so that my mom can buy the meds prescribed by the physician. And as we were about to go home, just as I was to steer the wheel to the right, my mother instructed me to go straight ahead so we can check on my brother who’s playing ball in a nearby gym.

We were quite lost though as my sister gave me the wrong direction of which exact street I should make a turn. So as the driver, I instinctively went straight ahead and just asked my mom and my sister if there would be another road where we can turn to get to our destination since I’ve never been there. It appeared that we were actually very near our stop because the next street parallel to the one where driving at will lead us to the gym. They were positive that I can turn right at the end of the road.

Indeed, they were correct for when I turned right, I saw another street where I can turn right again to get to the gym. But from a few feet away where the corner we had to turn right again was situated, a guy showed-up. He suddenly crossed the street and went ahead the same direction we were about to go.

Did I just see my brother walking passed through the corner? I thought aloud. He did resemble my younger brother but I can only see his silhouette.I immediately pointed my fingers to his direction to let my mother see the guy that looked just like him. She asked me then to go faster to see if he was really who we saw.

I stepped on the accelerator and sped-up but much to our shock, in that poorly lit corner, we saw nobody. We were all dumbfounded. “Where is he?” and “Where did he go?” were the questions we asked each other. We found it creepy that the guy looked like my younger brother. We very well knew that there is no way we won’t be able to see where he’s headed to, of course, unless he vanished into thin air. We dismissed the idea that it was him and just went directly to my little bro’s supposed to be “basketball practice” with his teammates. Unfortunately, we found a different group in the location.  My mother got off the car and even went inside the gym to double check but my brother was nowhere in sight.

Still, we weren’t sure if the guy who we saw crossed the street was him. His identity remained a mystery.

We then decided to go home immediately to find out if he’s already at our house but much to my mother’s disappointment, he was still out. She was alarmed by this thus her nagging to find out of his whereabouts. She called him non-stop and as he answered, she ordered him to come home asap. We can sense from the room we’re at that my mom wasn’t satisfied with his answers as she was already yelling on the phone.

When my brother finally came home, my mother’s scolding immediately greeted him. After all the searching and the nagging, it was still a relief that he’s okay and fine. I couldn’t imagine what might happen had he met any unfortunate circumstance while he was out. My mother will surely go insane. He is her most favorite child after all.

But the real question now is where did the guy go? And a more intriguing question would be: Was he even real or was he a ghost?

MY MAN

He is the self-made man I very well know of. He doesn’t act on impulse nor does he make any indecisive decisions. When confronted with fear and threat, he remains focused and calm. He seldom gets mad and he rarely raises his voice . And for someone like me who has known him for years now, I’ve come to master his silence. Just like my siblings, I too can sense his uneasiness or his weariness when he keeps his peace.

My father is a man of sense. He talks to us with full of wisdom to share.  But his seriousness when he speaks  is often mistaken for stiffness. But don’t be deceived, there’s more to him  than what meets the eye.  Daddy is someone who knows how to laugh and dance and sing. He’s a very good entertainer. In fact, whenever there would be a chance, he would even sweep away my mother’s feet. And we just simply adore him for his candid sweetness.

I remember, when I was still a little kid and my dad a bit younger, he actually kept a healthy lifestyle. He used to go on long walks if not jogging. He was really athletic when he was at his prime of life. But a strong man that he is, my father always restrain himself from giving us a beating. He would rather talk to us than hurt us physically.  His scolding, I say, is worse than our butts getting hit.  He speaks to us  in a subtle manner — no sugar coating whatsoever yet direct and brutally honest. And maybe because he rarely gives his grave remarks that whenever he lectures us,  his words would feel like blades that pierce through our hearts.  And I think that because of this we’ve learned how to be in our best behavior when he’s around if not all the time.

Truth is, my father is the exact opposite of my mother. My mother is like an open book. She’s relatively easy to read and comprehend.  Daddy, on the other hand, is quite complex. You have to know him for a long time to be familiar with him. He seldom shows his vulnerability and he doesn’t like to be seen that way. And honestly, I’ve never really seen him cry my entire life that’s why I was surprised to see him wiping away his tears during our recent trip.

It happened when we were on a family vacation. We went to my grandfather and grandmother’s grave in Surigao del Sur and there, he let his tears flow freely. He was sorry because he wasn’t able to come to my grandfather’s  funeral and  he was sorry because it took him five years before he came to visit. I felt sad. In a split second, I couldn’t breathe properly. My heart seemed like it was being crushed and my throat felt dry and hurt. I knew it, I was about to cry too. I was just so touched that I decided to rush back to our van and hide. I thought that it would be too embarrassing for him if he’d also see me cry. It was my first to witness him that way. I almost forgot that he was also my grandfather’s child. And that, he too misses his father like the way we are to him.

My father isn’t perfect that I am sure of. He is flawed like any other human being. But he is someone I am very proud of. He may not be with us all the time but for me, he is still the best dad there could ever be in this universe.  To have him as my father is a privilege and I wouldn’t have it in any other way; I hope that for having me as his daughter, he would also feel proud.

Belated Happy Fathers Day Dad!!!  Remember to take care always.  To my late grandfather, belated Happy Fathers Day too! I know my Dad is missing you everyday of his life. You are to him, the best Tatay too.

Again, to my father, to the man I have known my whole life, remember that I will continue to love you just the way you are. Always and Forever.

Hugs and Kisses all the way from the Philippines.

–XOXO–