I haven’t written anything for my blog since I started working. It’s been three months and it felt as if it’s been a year already. Time really does fly so fast and in those three months I’ve felt as if I already aged too much.
I now work for a social design enterprise based here in our province. On my first week of work, I’ve done errands which hurt my ego as a graduate of a premier state university. At the same time, I’ve been convincing myself that I must not be saddened nor feel ashamed of what I had been doing. I told myself that every penny I earned is the result of my hard work and the effort i exerted already caused me too much of my pride and self worth. Nonetheless, I was still able to keep a blind eye on all my relatives’ mockery and just kept looking forward.
First week ended and the following weeks were hell for me. Still, I was the errand girl who they kept on sending some place to buy and deliver materials. I wasn’t prepared for that and I felt really exhausted. I was the messenger, the receptionist, the secretary, name it and I must have done all other related office tasks. I was always tired and for a nocturnal like me, it’s abnormal to sleep as early as 9. My everyday’s work exhausted my physical and emotional state. I kept forgetting so many things. I took every comment seriously and almost personal. I was already suffocated, frustrated, and disappointed with the office, with the work itself, and with the minimal salary. I felt overworked. I felt belittled. I felt misplaced.
It came to a point where I asked myself, “Is this really meant for me?” “Why am I here?” “Do I really deserve this?” and these thoughts never ceased coming but I never stopped convincing myself that maybe it is God’s plan, that maybe He has everything arranged for me, that maybe I just have to be patient. Little by little, I was able to recuperate from my troubled and stressed out self and adjust in my new environment. And soon enough, I also found my work load becoming lighter—I no longer run errands as much or as frequent as before. And now, I already sit behind a desk and almost always busy with paper works and related admin tasks.
I am learning to like and love my job. I have waited for so long to land a job and now that it has come, I hope not to be disappointed. It is not like the one I have planned or dreamed of but it’s good enough for someone who just came out fresh from college.